The truth about Wednesdays is that right now they are hard.
It’s been awhile since I’ve written about something “real” and I’m kind of out of my groove but there’s no time like the present!
If you know me well, you know that I’m not one to sugarcoat things when it comes to my life. If a stage of my life is difficult, and you ask, I’m likely to be real about it (maybe too real…i’m not a super private person) especially in regards to parenting.
Perhaps i’m blunt when it comes to the subject of parenting because I had unrealistic expectations going into motherhood and was completely blindsided after having my first son, which spun me into the darkest two years of my life. And while I love sharing the beautiful moments in my life…the successes, the joys, the moments that I feel are absolutely idyllic…I also love sharing the tough stuff because maybe, just maybe, someone out there feels the same way and needs to know they are not alone…and that it’s going to be ok. And in regards to motherhood…I think the more realistic you are going into it, the easier your transition will be. Basically, go easy on yourself, give yourself more grace than you think you deserve, accept help, ask for help (I’m awful at this) and know that this stage you’re in will change and you’re strong enough…so keep pushing on! Ok, rant over, aren’t you glad you stopped by?
Back to the regularly scheduled programming…
Anyways, I’ve realized a pattern since having my second son about two months ago. By the time Wednesday rolls around, I can-not hold myself together…I have a meltdown of one kind or another. I am less patient, irrational and overly emotional…something always goes wrong.
It’s the being tired and emotionally worn out, it’s knowing that I still have three days to go before Nate is home for the weekend, it’s feeling like I have nothing left to give but I’m oh-so-needed, it’s feeling like no matter how much I’ve gotten done in the beginning of the week I still have so much to do, its wondering if everything on my to do list is really important in the long run, it’s overthinking my parenting methods, overthinking my failures, it’s feeling like I’m doing too much…feeling like I’m not doing enough…it’s…it’s….it’s… and without fail, I completely fall apart.
This last week, after my regularly scheduled meltdown I started creating this page as I processed. For me, there’s something so healing and clarifying about using my hands to create as I work through the jumble of emotions and thoughts running through my mind.
I got some time to really think about how I’m going to handle the inevitable upcoming Wednesdays (because my idea of sleeping through them entirely just isn’t practical ;)) And I’ve decided that I’m going to wake up, drink a big ol’ cup of hot coffee before the kids wake up and take my own parenting advice… I’m going to go really easy on myself, and I’m going to keep on pushing on! Because the truth is, each Wednesday is a little better than the last, and eventually, when I’m out of the newborn phase, Wednesdays will just be another day again…but until then, mark your calendars and steer clear! Ha!
Hope your week is going well!